Friday

Spotlight, Excerpt, Review & Giveaway: Crash: How I Became a Reluctant Caregiver by Rachel Michelberg


Book Blurb & Info

Rachel likes to think of herself as a nice Jewish girl, dedicated to doing what’s honorable, just as her parents raised her to do. But when her husband, David, survives a plane crash and is left with severe brain damage, she faces a choice: will she dedicate her life to caring for a man she no longer loves, or walk away?

Their marriage had been rocky at the time of the accident, and though she wants to do the right thing, Rachel doesn’t know how she is supposed to care for two kids in addition to a now irrational, incontinent, and seizure-prone grown man. And how will she manage to see her lover? But then again, what kind of selfish monster would refuse to care for her disabled husband, no matter how unhappy her marriage had been? Rachel wants to believe that she can dedicate her life to David’s needs, but knows in her heart it is impossible.

Crash tackles a pervasive dilemma in our culture: the moral conflicts individuals face when caregiving for a disabled or cognitively impaired family member.

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Toot's Review by Betty Bee

A book that is as bittersweet as it is moving and powerful-- 'Crash: How I Became A Reluctant Caregiver,' tells the story of a woman's fight for normalcy amid disaster. Rachel Michelberg never expected to have to be a caregiver. As a young mother of two, she and her husband, David, began going through a rocky patch in their marriage that unfortunately culminated in her falling into a romantic relationship with another man.

But everything in Rachel's life came to a screeching halt when her husband was in a terrible plane crash which resulted in him having extensive brain and spinal damage. After spending weeks in the ICU and months after that in the hospital, Rachel had to decide if she was ready to take on full time care of a husband who was no longer the same man that she married.

This is the kind of decision that many of us dread and that would be difficult for anyone, but it is also the kind of decision that many people must make every single day. After all, illnesses and accidents don't care how your marriage is going or whether you are capable of dealing with them physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Rachel seems like a strong person and she is lucky to have the love of her children and family, as I'm sure many of us would be during a time like this. Though David changed quite a bit mentally after the accident, it was nice to see at times that there was still a connection between them and that Rachel did still want the best for him.

This memoir has a lot of intriguing things to say about love, marriages and life in general and I would recommend it to anyone that likes a powerful story.

I, for one, will be thinking about this one for a while.

Book Excerpt

Whenever I ask, Learning Services brings David home to San Jose. Sometimes friends join us, especially Karen and Alex whose children are close to Hannah and Joshie. We sit in the backyard, drink wine, watch the kids on the play structure that David assembled when he could still follow instructions safely. Sometimes Alex takes David inside ostensibly to play video games, but Karen and I know they’re going out front to smoke cigarettes. We shoot hoops or try to play ping-pong. David is agitated when he misses the ball—and when the kids misbehave, which is frequently.

David is particularly impatient with his son. Joshie’s repetitive behaviors irritate him.

“Look! Watch me going down the slide!”Joshie calls for the tenth (or twentieth) time. He constantly craves adult attention.

“I don’t care,” David yells back.

Joshie looks stricken. He runs into the house, not wanting the other kids to see the tears streaming down his face.

“David, you need to be nicer to your son,” I admonish—as if it will make a difference. I head after Joshie—he’ll be tough to console. I can’t remember if David was harder on Joshie than Hannah before the accident. Most fathers do have higher standards for their sons. But David’s unfiltered put-downs are devastating.

I find him on his bed, face buried in his pillow. “Why is Daddy so nasty?” he whimpers.

I sit down next to him and stroke his back. “Daddy doesn’t mean it that way. Remember what I told you? His brain just doesn’t know how to be nice sometimes.” Joshie turns over to look at me, sniffles. I wipe some tears from his cheek with my thumb. “He really loves you.”

From the look on Joshie’s face, I’m not sure he believes me.

******

One evening when I’m slicing tomatoes for our dinner salad, I notice that that the car is not in the driveway.

“Where’s Daddy?” I ask Joshie, smiling too brightly. Hide the fear.

“Dunno. I think he drove somewhere,” Joshie says, carefully arranging his new obsession—Pokémon cards—on the floor.

“David?” I call. No answer. I run to my purse. The car keys are gone. Fuck. I dash into the street. Thank God our Nissan Murano is parked at the curb a few driveways down. Joe from next door is talking with David who is in the driver’s seat.

“David says he wants to go play pool with Stuart.” Joe is trying to pretend that it’s normal for a brain-injured man to drive around the neighborhood.

“Thanks, Joe.” I give him one of those grateful forced smiles I’ve perfected, the one that also says, “This really sucks, doesn’t it?” “Hey David, slide over. I’ll drive us home and you can help me wash lettuce.”

David doesn’t resist. He grimaces as he slides into the passenger seat. The shattered vertebrae in his low back still cause him constant pain.

I catch Joe’s look of pity as he watches me make the U-turn back to our house.

 

Copyright © 2021, Rachel Michelberg 


Author Info


Rachel Michelberg grew up in the San Francisco Bay Area and still enjoys living there with her husband, Richard, and their two dogs, Nala and Beenie. She earned her Bachelor of Music degree in vocal performance from San Jose State University and has performed leading roles in musicals and opera from Carmen to My Fair Lady as well as the part of the Mother Abbess (three times!) in The Sound of Music.

When Rachel isn’t working with one of her twenty voice and piano students, she loves gardening, hiking, and making her own bone broth. CRASH: How I Became a Reluctant Caregiver is her first book.

Website: https://www.rachelmauthor.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RachelMAuthor/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/RMichelberg
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rachelmichelbergauthor/

~Giveaway~


This giveaway is open to the U.S. only for the choice of print or eBook for each winner. It ends on May 18, 2021,midnight pacific time. Entries are accepted via Rafflecopter only.

~To Enter~
Please fill out the rafflecopter below

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