Fitting in has never been something fifteen-year-old Hadley Asher ever aspired to. Three schools in one year brings unwanted and unwelcome attention to a girl like Hadley who only wants to blend in.
After her family moves from Buffalo, NY to the small, upper-class town of Blue Valley in Central New York, Hadley's next door neighbor Lana quickly befriends her, the two becoming nearly inseparable. However, Paxton Jamison, Lana's stepbrother and the boy with the brilliant blue eyes, has to step in to help Hadley deal with Lana, who is hard to handle on a good day.
When an unprecedented scandal and tragedy strike the small community, Hadley becomes its focus, its target. As a result, the girl who hides in books and wants to blend in with the background finds breathing is nearly impossible.
AMAZON * B&N
Prologue
I lie on my back,
looking up at the white ceiling, and in my head, I am singing the song about
the old lady swallowing the fly.
One event in a
person’s life can change everything. My father’s unemployment led to his
drinking and driving, which led to an accident, which led to his injury, which
led to his pain and depression, which led to his inability to find a job, which
led to me moving to two different schools already this year. Tomorrow, I will
start the third.
My mother’s Aunt Ann
passed away, and Mom is now the only living relative. We bought her house right
before the tax auction. It is in a very small town that apparently is very
expensive. This is the first home my family has owned. My mother is optimistic,
hopeful, and tries her best to make my father and I feel the same way.
I wish I could do that
for her. I wish I could be as happy as she is, but honestly, it drives me crazy
that she can act as if our family isn’t broken, because it is. It is so very
broken.
Chapter one
New Girl
It is six-thirty on a
Monday morning in the beautiful Finger Lakes region of Upstate New York. The
temperature is negative two degrees, and there is not a cloud in the February
sky.
My alarm clock blares
“Fifteen,” and I think, Taylor Swift, as much as I love you, today you
are my enemy.Then I groan as I roll over and push snooze on my hand-me-down
alarm clock radio, given to me by my mother when she got the iPhone 4.
Wanting to go back to
sleep, I have no desire to roll out of bed. I know, as soon as I do, my feet
will touch the hardwood floor, and they will turn cold. I hate cold feet almost
as much as I hate Monday mornings.
“Hadley, it’s time to
get up,” my mom sings as she walks past my door toward the bathroom.
“I’m up,” I
grumble.
I hear her footsteps
halt before she leans back, looking at me as she stands in my doorway. “Good
morning, beautiful girl.” My mother is obnoxiously chipper in the morning. It
drives me insane. “Happy fifteenth birthday,” she almost sings.
“It’s Monday, Mom.” I
roll my eyes and cover my head. “That’s a crappy day to have a birthday.”
“Language, Hadley.”
She shakes her head and steps back. “May I enter the sanctuary?”
Yes, she asks if she
can come in my room. Six months ago, when I found her crying on my bed as she
was reading my diary, I kind of went off on her.
I nod in answer. Then,
against all that should be for a girl celebrating her fifteenth birthday, I
force myself to get out of bed. There’s that cold. Ugh. That feeling drives me
even crazier. Now I’m pushing the limit.
I walk to my closet
and pull out a pair of tattered skinny jeans and a blue field hockey T-shirt
then pair the outfit with my white Converse high-tops. I quickly dress in the
small solitude of my closet and exit the sanctuary with Mom at my heels.
“It’s your first day
at a new school, Hadley, so are you sure you wouldn’t rather dress up a little?
Mix it up a bit?”
“It’s my third school
in a year. Things are mixed up enough.” Realizing I have hurt her feelings, I
give her a hundred watt smile and a thumbs up. “I’m being true to
myself.”
She smiles and nods, “That’s
perfect.”
I walk into the
80s-style bathroom and turn on the mustard yellow sink with a very rusty water
stain down the middle of the bowl. I brush my teeth, run a brush through my
hair, and swiftly pull it into a waterfall braid that Mom and I saw on YouTube
by a lucky girl who had an iPhone of her own.
I look in the mirror,
and staring back at me is an average looking girl with slightly wavy, deep
brown hair and green eyes that my mom promises me are the most beautiful eyes
she has ever seen. I don’t argue with that compliment, seeing as they are the
same as hers. Beautiful, I’m not sure of. Above average … possibly.
Regardless of how I
feel about myself, I am reminded of the great words of Effie Trinket, “Chins
up, smiles on!”
As I head for the
stairs, I peek into my parents’ room to see my dad is still asleep. No shocker
there. He had sock throat last night. That’s what happens when he has had a few
too many “sleeping pills.” He sounds like someone stuffed a gym sock in his
mouth, and he swallowed down the next shot too fast. That’s something they
don’t talk about in health class—sock throat.
Apparently, we don’t
talk about it here, either. Mom only tells me, “He’s just going through a rough
spell right now.” Said spell has lasted, oh, about three years, since the
layoff that “ruined” his life. The wizard that must have cast such a spell has
to have been Voldemort.
“Morning, Dad,” I
whisper, though I know he won’t hear me.
Sleep it off, man,
sleep it off.
I head downstairs and
nearly trip over our old, fat, yellow cat. “Shove a cheek, Yolo,” I growl at
him.
Yolo, yes, Yolo.
I got a cat for my
birthday two years ago, during the peak of my Hunger Games obsession, so I
named him Buttercup. He got hit by car exactly one month after my birthday.
Apparently, cats DO NOT have nine lives.
Then this fatty showed
up, so we fed him. Now he won’t leave, and he is not friendly.
Quite honestly, I
don’t like him.
“He was meant to be
yours, Hadley. Look at the signs. He showed up exactly one week after Buttercup
disappeared.”
“Disappeared, Mom? I
saw him get hit. I watched as Dad scraped him off the street with a shovel. His
blood stain stayed there as a reminder of my rotten luck.”
“Honey, he was meant
to be yours for a short time—”
“A reminder that cats
actually don’t have nine lives?”
“Well, maybe that’s
the lesson you were supposed to learn from the experience.”
“Whatever, Mom,” I say
as I walk down the stairs to head to school.
The odds were
certainly not in Buttercup’s favor
~*~
My mother takes me to
school, and by the grace of God, she doesn’t ask me a hundred times if I am all
right. She only does it once in the half a mile it takes to get there. I let
her know that it’s nothing new, but it is because this school is much smaller than
I am used to. It will make it harder to blend in.
We walk up the front
walk together and pass several of my new peers through the loud, busy halls
toward the main office. They all notice me, and only a couple smile. I suspect
it’s because my mother smiles brightly at all of them.
“Hadley Asher, first
day of school,” Mom announces in a very chipper tone to the round receptionist
with the tight bun.
“Of course,” she says
as she types something on her keyboard then pushes back in her chair and walks
over to grab to the paper from the printer. “Locker number one four two. Take a
right when you walk out the door. Your first class is global on the second
floor, next to the library, room two one two.”
When my mom smiles and
acts as if she is going to hug me, she sees I am mortified and stops. Instead,
I walk out of the office and look back as Mom heads left toward the main
entry.
“Mom,” I call out, and
she stops, looking back and giving me a sad smile. “I’m gonna walk home.”
“You sure?”
I nod, wave, and
smile, wanting her to know I’m fine. Why? She deserves it.
I make my way to my
locker, noticing the stares, the whispers, and a couple people smile. I give
them a quick smile and then open my locker to put my Jansport backpack in it. I
keep a binder, a pencil, and a pen, hoping it’s all I will need. Glancing at my
schedule, I see that after global I have chemistry, algebra 2/trig, English,
home economics, lunch, physical education, study hall, Spanish, and then
homeroom.
The school is like a
hotel compared to my last one. It is clean, and the locker-room doesn’t even
smell like dirty feet. In each class, I am introduced by the teacher. I force a
smile, then look back down and pretend to take notes. I collect my books, the
syllabus, and make sure to jot down any questions I may have.
When the class is
excused, I take the time to ask the teacher a question. This almost always
makes me late for the next class, which is perfect. I am given a hall pass and
skate in as class begins, avoiding awkward moments where I may have to actually
interact.
Every class, I end up
sitting in the front. This is preferred. I catch no dirty looks if I have to
sit by someone who doesn’t want me there; the teacher doesn’t label me as a bad
kid because I am not in the back, trying to mess around; and my peers don’t
think I am a butt kisser sitting in front, because they know it isn’t a choice.
The students are all
dressed to impress. They are all Abercrombie, and I am definitely not Fitch.
The girls, every single one of them, have their hair done in a way that lets
you know they spend more than half an hour styling it and doing their make-up.
The boys … well, they may have spent more time doing theirs than I did, too.
Blue Valley is picture
perfect, and I am certainly drawing unwanted attention, even with a bowed head
and making sure there is no eye contact.
At lunch, I hide out
in the bathroom. It isn’t the first time, and it won’t be the last. I prefer it
over walking around the lunchroom, trying to find a place to sit and eat when I
know I won’t be eating anyways. Why? I am a nervous wreck.
Historically, it will
pass in about two weeks. I will no longer be the un-shiny new girl and will
have perfected the blending in. This school is different, so blending will be
harder, but I will figure it out. I will also have figured out who to avoid and
who is going to cause the least amount of drama.
When the last bell
rings, I stand nearly inside my locker and wait until the hall is almost bare
before I leave. I am avoiding the crowed, blending. I am doing all the things I
need to do to get through day one at a new school. When I round the corner on
my way home from school, Mom is outside, bent over and looking in the bushes,
singing, “Yolo, come here, kitty-kitty. Hadley is almost home. You’ll be best
friends.”
Dear God, woman, I
think.
I turn, ready to make
a run for it, when I see the blonde–haired, short and slender neighbor girl
laughing at me, and my cheeks flush red with embarrassment. She gestures for me
to come over to her yard.
“Yolo, Hadley already
loves you! You just have to return the love!”
The girl again waves
for me to come over, and I make a run for it.
As soon as I reach her
yard, she speaks, “I’m sosorry.” She laughs.
“I’m sorry you had to
see that. I’m Hadley.” I smile.
“Oh, I’m Lana,” she
says, oblivious to the fact that I was most obviously trying to change the
subject, but then she seems to catch on. “I saw you! You’re in, like, three of
my classes! The new girl!” She is obviously happy with her observation.
“Yeah, I think so.
Anyway, I’ve got to go home. See you around!” I smile.
~*~
Throughout dinner, the
cards and boxes taunt me. It seems to be an eternity before Mom laughs and
brings out a small blue cake with the words “Happy Birthday, Hadley” written
in neat, white lettering.
She places fifteen
candles on the cake and lights them. Then, for “Happy Birthday,” Mom sings
cheerfully while Dad grumbles along. I blow out the candles mindlessly, and
then we each eat a piece of cake, Dad finishing last. After taking his sweet
time and a few swigs of whatever’s in his glass, he stacks his plate on top of
ours as Mom carries a card and four boxes over to me.
I open the card first
out of respect, and it’s this sappy drugstore thing that says nothing but how ‘amazing’
I am. I thank them both then pick up the smallest box. When I take off the
wrapping paper, my jaw drops because it’s an iPhone 4. I run over and hug both
parents then open the phone box, looking at the shiny black screen and the
silver body just like Mom’s.
The next biggest box
has two phone cases. Both are ones Mom has seen me look at when we went
shopping a week ago at a mall kiosk. There is also a pair of ear buds in it.
The next box has a blue Lifeproof phone case in it. The biggest box is full of
smaller and smaller boxes, and in the smallest box is a fifty-dollar iTunes
gift card.
I hug them both again
after I open them all. Then I carefully put everything in the largest box and
carry it to my room.
Once I reach my room,
I put the Lifeproof case on my new phone and plug it into the outlet next to my
nightstand. I set the phone on the stand so it can charge before I mess with
it.
Finally, the screen
turns a lighter shade of black, and the Apple symbol materializes, making me
grin. After two hours, I have two books and twenty-five of my favorite songs
loaded onto the phone as well as a few free games to play. Soon enough, I set
it down and fall asleep.
~*~
The next morning, Lana
is waiting for me on the sidewalk. “Do you want to walk together?”
“I have my bike,” I
say as I see a boy backing out of her driveway.
“Need a ride, Lana?”
he yells out the window.
“No thanks, Pax. I’m
gonna ride my bike.”
“You’re doing what?”
He laughs at her.
“Go, shoo, I’m
capable.”
He shakes his head as
she runs to the garage and grabs her bike.
“See you later, new
girl,” he says with a wave as he drives away.
I watch as the black
Honda Accord backs out of the driveway. The driver is wearing a gray hoodie,
black winter vest, and has aviator sunglasses covering his eyes. I assume he is
Lana’s brother, and Lana must have told him about me.
New girl? I wonder if
she remembers my name.
“It’s been a while.”
Lana gestures at her bike in explanation. “Hopefully, I remember. I have ridden
with him ever since he got his license.”
“From what I
understand, it comes back to you fast. You know, ‘just like riding a bike.’
”
She laughs and looks
at the ground. “What the heck are we doing? It’s winter. Do you really ride your
bike to school in this crap?”
“There’s no snow on
the ground.”
“Okay, but seriously,
we’re going to look like a couple idiots. I can’t do that, and if we’re going
to be friends, I seriously can’t allow you to, either.”
With that settled, we
end up walking to school together, talking the entire way, or rather, she
talks, and I listen. She makes me feel at ease, which is quite a feat in
itself.
We walk down a
sidewalk crowded with other students. Today I am dressed in a way to make
blending an option. I am wearing a pair of less tattered jeans and a sweater
Mom got off the sale rack last season at The Gap.
I blend in during
global, but as soon as I walk into chemistry, Lana yells out my name and pats
the seat next to her.
“Sit here,
Hadley.”
So I do. I sit there
and watch as some of the judgy faces from yesterday seem to become less harsh.
When class is over, we
walk out, and she shows me where the next class is. I already know—I was here
yesterday—but I don’t remind her of that. I just thank her because, well, she’s
been very nice.
Before lunch, she
finds me right as I am about to make my escape toward the bathroom.
“Come on, Hadley.
You’ll sit with us from now on.”
I feel good about
this. She seems completely genuine, and I am nervously excited about the idea
of having such fast friends here.
We sit with her
friends, Bee and Skylar.
“Wait, before you sit,
tell me, are you Everlark or Everthorne?” The girl who has dark hair and eyes—I
think she is Latina—and is short and stocky … Bee. Her name is Bee.
“You better give the
correct answer, or Bee here will flip,” Skylar, the tall, mixed race, very thin
and gorgeous girl says.
“If I have to sit on
the floor and eat, it’ll be okay. It is and always will be Everlark,” I
answer.
To our benefit, we all
say we are team Everlark and that Gale and Katniss don’t even make sense
together. Beatrice even has an interesting theory on the fictional
character-napping of our beloved Peeta. This is the way the
conversation continues to go the entire time. It’s all about The Hunger Games.
I am more at ease now than ever.
I think I’m going to
like it here.
I find out Bee and
Skylar have gone to Blue Valley together since kindergarten, while Lana moved
here only a couple years ago.
After school, they convince
me to go with them to winter intramurals. Apparently, the PE teacher is a field
hockey enthusiast and wants to have the best team in Central New York this
coming fall. A couple other schools in the area are doing the same thing, so we
will have actual games. This makes me happy. Now add to it that my new, very
fast friends want to play, as well, and okay, I know I’m gonna like it here.
When I send a text to
my mother and tell her I’m staying after, she replies with way too many colons
and capital Ds, which makes me laugh to myself.
“Nerd girl alert,” I
hear a tall, very long-legged, very pretty blonde laugh to her group of friends
as we walk into the locker room to change.
I immediately think of
Glimmer and how her outward beauty only masks her inward ugly.
“Kiss it, Claire,”
Lana says, giving her three fingers.
I look at her like
she’s crazy.
“Hunger Games,” Bee
explains. “Lana uses it to flip people off without getting in trouble.”
“Nice.” I laugh.
“Right? Then the
parental units don’t catch on,” Lana explains further.
“Gotcha,” I say as I
watch the girl Claire whispering to her friends.
“P.I.R.,” Skylar
says.
“What?” I ask.
“Parents in room,” Bee
chimes in. “Text terms. How do you not know that one? You have an
iPhone.”
“I just got it
yesterday for my birthday.”
“Birthday? No way! How
did we miss that?” Skylar asks.
Wow, just wow, I
think to myself.
“Um, hello, Sky, she
just moved here.” Lana laughs.
“Duh, of course.”
Skylar laughs it off.
“What’s her problem?”
I nod to the group of girls.
“Oh, her? Pax broke up
with her last year. She is one nasty, little thing. She hates me and tried
starting a rumor that I had a crush on him. Can you imagine?” Lana laughs as
she ties her cleats.
“Your brother?” I
gape.
“Stepbrother,” Bee
corrects.
“Same difference. God,
can you imagine crushing on a boy you’ve been raised with? Gross!” Lana gives a
disgusted look.
“No way in heck,” I
agree, as I pull my warm up pants on.
“Do you have I-G?” Bee
asks, playing with my phone. “Guess not yet.”
“Are you into
role-playing?” Bee asks, downloading the app.
“No, why?”
“You’re about to enter
into the coolest game in the world. It’s fierce.” She looks up,
then talks me through the set up before handing me my phone. “Easy-peasy,
lemon-squeezy.”
“I’m not into
games.”
“Okay, let me explain.
Role-play, or RP as, like, everyone on the face of the fandom world calls it,
is like writing a story with your friends. I’ve met a lot of cool people there.
There are academies, schools, camps, arenas, districts, factions—practically
every fandom has an RP. It’s pretty cool,” Bee explains.
“You’re into books,
though, right?” Lana asks.
“Of course.”
“You’ll love it. Trust
us,” Bee smiles at me.
“Enter your username,
but choose wisely.”
“What are yours?” I
ask.
“Mine is
beesbookbuzz.” Bee smiles.
“I’m
sky-dot-da-dot-limitless.” Sky smirks.
“I’m fanchicks123,”
Lana says.
“Okay how about
thefiercefangirl? Or is that really lame?”
“Perfect.” Bee nods.
“Love it.”
~*~
Apparently, I am
pretty good at field hockey because, even though I’m only a sophomore, I am
placed as a starting forward, opposite Claire. I don’t like that I am not
playing on the same team as my friends, but we travel and practice together, so
I see them just as much. Evidently, field hockey is a dying sport around here
because every other indoor team is over an hour away.
Claire and I may not
talk, like ever, but by the end of the short eight week season, which I only
play four weeks of, we have found a groove. Coach Douglas likes the way we work
together and mentions that we could be state champions in the fall if we work a
little harder together. He wants us to become friends.
“Fat chance,” she
mumbles under her breath as she brushes past me, walking out of his
office.
Peace, sister, I
think to myself as I walk out behind her.
I am thankful that I
only have the end of the season party that I will have to see her again at.
Then, I will be able to hang out more with Lana, Bee, and Skylar, and I will have
a chance to read again.
Thank God!
~*~
Within a week, I am
borderline obsessed with fan fiction and role-playing, thanks to my friends.
Now it’s a month later, and Lana, Bee, and I easily spend an hour, maybe more,
invested in this crazy, new world every day. Sky is a little less obsessed, but
she plays along for the same reason I spend some Saturday mornings at the park
with a sketch pad in one hand and a piece of chalk in the other. They love to
sketch in the park and have asked me to go, and that’s what friends do.
Through DM, or direct
messages, each person creates a character. Then, message after message, a story
unfolds.
thefiercefangirl: Okay
guys, The Hunger Games Role play, or THG RP. My
character is Quinn Greenwood. You know, my usual.
Beesbookbuz:- Mine is
Willow Oak, my usual. You know, the blondie.
fanchicks123: Mine’s
Kaden Red. The one with the black hair.
sky.da.limitless:
Obviously, Becca. You guys ready?
sky.da.limitless:
Becca walks around, searching for food and water, on guard, making sure no one
is following her.
Thefiercefangirl:
Quinn quietly walks around, looking for the girl she decided to become allies
with during training. Knowing the other girl was District Two, she tried her hardest
not to get caught.
fanchicks123: Kaden
leaves her camp with her allies as soon as she wakes up, knowing if they caught
her, she would be killed.
Beesbookbuzz: Willow
jumps from the tree she’s been sleeping in at the sound of rushing water. A
flash flood strikes the arena. The water starts coming from the ground and the
top of the ‘roof’ of the arena.
sky.da.limitless:
Becca jolts as her shoes start to fill with the water.
Thefiercefangirl:
Sorry, guys, GTG. I’m tired.
I smile as I sign out.
“Whatcha doing,
sweetheart?” my mom asks from the doorway.
“Role-playing on IG,”
I answer. When she doesn’t reply, I look toward my door. “Book stuff, Mom. It’s
all good.”
“You sure?”
“Yes, Mom, I
am.”
“All up and up, right?
Remember, everything you post stays up there in that cloud forever. No taking
it back. No—”
“I know. I saw JJ’s
big reveal on your Facebook from his first drunken college party,
remember?” My half-brother’s an idiot, I think to myself.
“A decision he has to
live with for the rest of his life,” she says like she feels bad about my Dad’s
first child’s choice to get drunk and bare it all.
Gross. That is just
something you can never un-see.
~*~
I don’t understand why
Lana is hiding her role-playing from her parents, so I ask her on our way to
school.
“They are completely
over-protective,” she explains.
“Oh.”
“Your parents seem
cool with everything,” she turns the topic on me.
“Yeah. Cool.”
“So your mom reads
palms? Is that, like, her job?”
Ever since field
hockey, Lana has been a little less chipper and a lot more in my face. I don’t
understand. If she decided she doesn’t like me, she should just stop hanging
out with me, right? God, this is so confusing. She knows so much about me now,
all my embarrassing, closeted things, like the fact that my mom reads palms for
extra money.
I asked her not to say
anything, and she promised she wouldn’t. I cannot believe she is
starting that crap up again. She promised.
“She is a hairstylist.
She rents a booth downtown. That’s her real job.”
“She offered to read
my mom’s palm,” she says.
“Great. I bet she was
impressed.”
“She laughed,
actually. No big deal.”
It is a big deal. My
family embarrasses the hell out of me.
Say what you will
about Mother Nature, but today, she is on my side. It down pours just as I am
reaching an even higher level of uncomfortable in front of my new friend, so we
start laughing and cover our heads with our bags.
“Should we run for
it?” I ask.
“Yes!”
A horn blows from
behind us, and I look over.
“Come on, Lana, you
and new girl get in.” It is Pax, Lana’s popular and very handsome stepbrother.
He is more beautiful than I could even put into words, and he seems like a very
nice guy, too. He always smiles and either waves or says hi to me in the hallways
at school.
“Thanks, Pax,” Lana
says as she slides in the front seat.
“Lana, are you gonna
let her in?” He laughs, as I squeeze in behind her to get in the back.
“I got it.” I laugh.
“See? All set.”
As I look up, his blue
eyes are smiling in the rearview mirror. Feeling my face heat, I turn away
before he is aware. Dear God, now is not the time to develop your first
crush, I tell myself.
“You like it here, new
girl?”
“All except the
torrential downpours when there is snow on the ground,” I answer as I look out
the window, avoiding the chance that I may make a fool of myself and get lost
in the rearview mirror again.
~*~
I am washing my hands
in the school bathroom when Claire walks in.
She nods. “Hey.”
“Hey.” I nod
back.
“Busy this weekend?”
I look around to see
if I may have been mistaken, and maybe she really isn’t talking to me. She
never talks to me, which is perfectly fine with me.
She laughs. “We’re the
only ones in here, Had.”
“I suppose so.” I
return the laugh.
“A few of the players
and I are joining an outdoor spring league. Coach says we need to play more. I,
for one, would love a shot at state this fall. Hell, nationals would be cool.
You wanna join? You can ride with us.”
“I’ll ask my
mom.”
“Cool, message me?”
“O … kay?”
“You have Instagram?”
she asks.
“Yeah.”
“Name?”
“thefiercefangirl.”
“Oh God, you are in
deep with the nerd herd.” She laughs.
“My friends and I
read. Why does that make us nerds?” I question her.
“Oh, I just bust on
Lana, all in fun.” Yeah right, I think. “I’ll be nice. The
past is the past, right?”
“Yep, so they say,” I
answer.
“Cool, chat
later?”
“Sure.”
~*~
“She said it was all
in good fun?” Lana huffs as we walk home from school. “Crazy ass.”
“She said she just
busts on you.”
“You aren’t gonna
seriously go with them?” Lana asks, as if she already knows I won’t.
I shrug and she
laughs, letting me know she thinks I’m joking. I don’t want to upset her,
because she’s a good friend—my best friend—but I am really good at something
for the very first time in my life. Not only am I good at it, but I love the
game. I know I want to join them. On the field, it’s me, my teammates, the
ball, and the goal. Nothing else. No one is better than anyone, and we all work
together. I love it.
I also know Bee and
Skylar won’t be upset about it. Lana, on the other hand, is making this about
her and Claire.
When I walk in my
house, I tell Mom about the indoor league and ask what she thinks. Of course
she asks how much it’s going to cost. I hate money. Hate it.
“Not sure,” I say as I
grab an orange out of the fridge, “I’ll find out.”
“We will make it work,
I promise.” She smiles at me, but I see worry.
“If not, Mom, it’s
seriously no big deal.”
Maybe it’s just not
meant to be. I know we don’t have any extra money, and I don’t want her to
stress out. Lana will be happier, too. Whatever happens, I know it will be
fine. It always is.
Prologue
I lie on my back,
looking up at the white ceiling, and in my head, I am singing the song about
the old lady swallowing the fly.
One event in a
person’s life can change everything. My father’s unemployment led to his
drinking and driving, which led to an accident, which led to his injury, which
led to his pain and depression, which led to his inability to find a job, which
led to me moving to two different schools already this year. Tomorrow, I will
start the third.
My mother’s Aunt Ann
passed away, and Mom is now the only living relative. We bought her house right
before the tax auction. It is in a very small town that apparently is very
expensive. This is the first home my family has owned. My mother is optimistic,
hopeful, and tries her best to make my father and I feel the same way.
I wish I could do that
for her. I wish I could be as happy as she is, but honestly, it drives me crazy
that she can act as if our family isn’t broken, because it is. It is so very
broken.
Chapter one
New Girl
It is six-thirty on a
Monday morning in the beautiful Finger Lakes region of Upstate New York. The
temperature is negative two degrees, and there is not a cloud in the February
sky.
My alarm clock blares
“Fifteen,” and I think, Taylor Swift, as much as I love you, today you
are my enemy.Then I groan as I roll over and push snooze on my hand-me-down
alarm clock radio, given to me by my mother when she got the iPhone 4.
Wanting to go back to
sleep, I have no desire to roll out of bed. I know, as soon as I do, my feet
will touch the hardwood floor, and they will turn cold. I hate cold feet almost
as much as I hate Monday mornings.
“Hadley, it’s time to
get up,” my mom sings as she walks past my door toward the bathroom.
“I’m up,” I
grumble.
I hear her footsteps
halt before she leans back, looking at me as she stands in my doorway. “Good
morning, beautiful girl.” My mother is obnoxiously chipper in the morning. It
drives me insane. “Happy fifteenth birthday,” she almost sings.
“It’s Monday, Mom.” I
roll my eyes and cover my head. “That’s a crappy day to have a birthday.”
“Language, Hadley.”
She shakes her head and steps back. “May I enter the sanctuary?”
Yes, she asks if she
can come in my room. Six months ago, when I found her crying on my bed as she
was reading my diary, I kind of went off on her.
I nod in answer. Then,
against all that should be for a girl celebrating her fifteenth birthday, I
force myself to get out of bed. There’s that cold. Ugh. That feeling drives me
even crazier. Now I’m pushing the limit.
I walk to my closet
and pull out a pair of tattered skinny jeans and a blue field hockey T-shirt
then pair the outfit with my white Converse high-tops. I quickly dress in the
small solitude of my closet and exit the sanctuary with Mom at my heels.
“It’s your first day
at a new school, Hadley, so are you sure you wouldn’t rather dress up a little?
Mix it up a bit?”
“It’s my third school
in a year. Things are mixed up enough.” Realizing I have hurt her feelings, I
give her a hundred watt smile and a thumbs up. “I’m being true to
myself.”
She smiles and nods, “That’s
perfect.”
I walk into the
80s-style bathroom and turn on the mustard yellow sink with a very rusty water
stain down the middle of the bowl. I brush my teeth, run a brush through my
hair, and swiftly pull it into a waterfall braid that Mom and I saw on YouTube
by a lucky girl who had an iPhone of her own.
I look in the mirror,
and staring back at me is an average looking girl with slightly wavy, deep
brown hair and green eyes that my mom promises me are the most beautiful eyes
she has ever seen. I don’t argue with that compliment, seeing as they are the
same as hers. Beautiful, I’m not sure of. Above average … possibly.
Regardless of how I
feel about myself, I am reminded of the great words of Effie Trinket, “Chins
up, smiles on!”
As I head for the
stairs, I peek into my parents’ room to see my dad is still asleep. No shocker
there. He had sock throat last night. That’s what happens when he has had a few
too many “sleeping pills.” He sounds like someone stuffed a gym sock in his
mouth, and he swallowed down the next shot too fast. That’s something they
don’t talk about in health class—sock throat.
Apparently, we don’t
talk about it here, either. Mom only tells me, “He’s just going through a rough
spell right now.” Said spell has lasted, oh, about three years, since the
layoff that “ruined” his life. The wizard that must have cast such a spell has
to have been Voldemort.
“Morning, Dad,” I
whisper, though I know he won’t hear me.
Sleep it off, man,
sleep it off.
I head downstairs and
nearly trip over our old, fat, yellow cat. “Shove a cheek, Yolo,” I growl at
him.
Yolo, yes, Yolo.
I got a cat for my
birthday two years ago, during the peak of my Hunger Games obsession, so I
named him Buttercup. He got hit by car exactly one month after my birthday.
Apparently, cats DO NOT have nine lives.
Then this fatty showed
up, so we fed him. Now he won’t leave, and he is not friendly.
Quite honestly, I
don’t like him.
“He was meant to be
yours, Hadley. Look at the signs. He showed up exactly one week after Buttercup
disappeared.”
“Disappeared, Mom? I
saw him get hit. I watched as Dad scraped him off the street with a shovel. His
blood stain stayed there as a reminder of my rotten luck.”
“Honey, he was meant
to be yours for a short time—”
“A reminder that cats
actually don’t have nine lives?”
“Well, maybe that’s
the lesson you were supposed to learn from the experience.”
“Whatever, Mom,” I say
as I walk down the stairs to head to school.
The odds were
certainly not in Buttercup’s favor
~*~
My mother takes me to
school, and by the grace of God, she doesn’t ask me a hundred times if I am all
right. She only does it once in the half a mile it takes to get there. I let
her know that it’s nothing new, but it is because this school is much smaller than
I am used to. It will make it harder to blend in.
We walk up the front
walk together and pass several of my new peers through the loud, busy halls
toward the main office. They all notice me, and only a couple smile. I suspect
it’s because my mother smiles brightly at all of them.
“Hadley Asher, first
day of school,” Mom announces in a very chipper tone to the round receptionist
with the tight bun.
“Of course,” she says
as she types something on her keyboard then pushes back in her chair and walks
over to grab to the paper from the printer. “Locker number one four two. Take a
right when you walk out the door. Your first class is global on the second
floor, next to the library, room two one two.”
When my mom smiles and
acts as if she is going to hug me, she sees I am mortified and stops. Instead,
I walk out of the office and look back as Mom heads left toward the main
entry.
“Mom,” I call out, and
she stops, looking back and giving me a sad smile. “I’m gonna walk home.”
“You sure?”
I nod, wave, and
smile, wanting her to know I’m fine. Why? She deserves it.
I make my way to my
locker, noticing the stares, the whispers, and a couple people smile. I give
them a quick smile and then open my locker to put my Jansport backpack in it. I
keep a binder, a pencil, and a pen, hoping it’s all I will need. Glancing at my
schedule, I see that after global I have chemistry, algebra 2/trig, English,
home economics, lunch, physical education, study hall, Spanish, and then
homeroom.
The school is like a
hotel compared to my last one. It is clean, and the locker-room doesn’t even
smell like dirty feet. In each class, I am introduced by the teacher. I force a
smile, then look back down and pretend to take notes. I collect my books, the
syllabus, and make sure to jot down any questions I may have.
When the class is
excused, I take the time to ask the teacher a question. This almost always
makes me late for the next class, which is perfect. I am given a hall pass and
skate in as class begins, avoiding awkward moments where I may have to actually
interact.
Every class, I end up
sitting in the front. This is preferred. I catch no dirty looks if I have to
sit by someone who doesn’t want me there; the teacher doesn’t label me as a bad
kid because I am not in the back, trying to mess around; and my peers don’t
think I am a butt kisser sitting in front, because they know it isn’t a choice.
The students are all
dressed to impress. They are all Abercrombie, and I am definitely not Fitch.
The girls, every single one of them, have their hair done in a way that lets
you know they spend more than half an hour styling it and doing their make-up.
The boys … well, they may have spent more time doing theirs than I did, too.
Blue Valley is picture
perfect, and I am certainly drawing unwanted attention, even with a bowed head
and making sure there is no eye contact.
At lunch, I hide out
in the bathroom. It isn’t the first time, and it won’t be the last. I prefer it
over walking around the lunchroom, trying to find a place to sit and eat when I
know I won’t be eating anyways. Why? I am a nervous wreck.
Historically, it will
pass in about two weeks. I will no longer be the un-shiny new girl and will
have perfected the blending in. This school is different, so blending will be
harder, but I will figure it out. I will also have figured out who to avoid and
who is going to cause the least amount of drama.
When the last bell
rings, I stand nearly inside my locker and wait until the hall is almost bare
before I leave. I am avoiding the crowed, blending. I am doing all the things I
need to do to get through day one at a new school. When I round the corner on
my way home from school, Mom is outside, bent over and looking in the bushes,
singing, “Yolo, come here, kitty-kitty. Hadley is almost home. You’ll be best
friends.”
Dear God, woman, I
think.
I turn, ready to make
a run for it, when I see the blonde–haired, short and slender neighbor girl
laughing at me, and my cheeks flush red with embarrassment. She gestures for me
to come over to her yard.
“Yolo, Hadley already
loves you! You just have to return the love!”
The girl again waves
for me to come over, and I make a run for it.
As soon as I reach her
yard, she speaks, “I’m sosorry.” She laughs.
“I’m sorry you had to
see that. I’m Hadley.” I smile.
“Oh, I’m Lana,” she
says, oblivious to the fact that I was most obviously trying to change the
subject, but then she seems to catch on. “I saw you! You’re in, like, three of
my classes! The new girl!” She is obviously happy with her observation.
“Yeah, I think so.
Anyway, I’ve got to go home. See you around!” I smile.
~*~
Throughout dinner, the
cards and boxes taunt me. It seems to be an eternity before Mom laughs and
brings out a small blue cake with the words “Happy Birthday, Hadley” written
in neat, white lettering.
She places fifteen
candles on the cake and lights them. Then, for “Happy Birthday,” Mom sings
cheerfully while Dad grumbles along. I blow out the candles mindlessly, and
then we each eat a piece of cake, Dad finishing last. After taking his sweet
time and a few swigs of whatever’s in his glass, he stacks his plate on top of
ours as Mom carries a card and four boxes over to me.
I open the card first
out of respect, and it’s this sappy drugstore thing that says nothing but how ‘amazing’
I am. I thank them both then pick up the smallest box. When I take off the
wrapping paper, my jaw drops because it’s an iPhone 4. I run over and hug both
parents then open the phone box, looking at the shiny black screen and the
silver body just like Mom’s.
The next biggest box
has two phone cases. Both are ones Mom has seen me look at when we went
shopping a week ago at a mall kiosk. There is also a pair of ear buds in it.
The next box has a blue Lifeproof phone case in it. The biggest box is full of
smaller and smaller boxes, and in the smallest box is a fifty-dollar iTunes
gift card.
I hug them both again
after I open them all. Then I carefully put everything in the largest box and
carry it to my room.
Once I reach my room,
I put the Lifeproof case on my new phone and plug it into the outlet next to my
nightstand. I set the phone on the stand so it can charge before I mess with
it.
Finally, the screen
turns a lighter shade of black, and the Apple symbol materializes, making me
grin. After two hours, I have two books and twenty-five of my favorite songs
loaded onto the phone as well as a few free games to play. Soon enough, I set
it down and fall asleep.
~*~
The next morning, Lana
is waiting for me on the sidewalk. “Do you want to walk together?”
“I have my bike,” I
say as I see a boy backing out of her driveway.
“Need a ride, Lana?”
he yells out the window.
“No thanks, Pax. I’m
gonna ride my bike.”
“You’re doing what?”
He laughs at her.
“Go, shoo, I’m
capable.”
He shakes his head as
she runs to the garage and grabs her bike.
“See you later, new
girl,” he says with a wave as he drives away.
I watch as the black
Honda Accord backs out of the driveway. The driver is wearing a gray hoodie,
black winter vest, and has aviator sunglasses covering his eyes. I assume he is
Lana’s brother, and Lana must have told him about me.
New girl? I wonder if
she remembers my name.
“It’s been a while.”
Lana gestures at her bike in explanation. “Hopefully, I remember. I have ridden
with him ever since he got his license.”
“From what I
understand, it comes back to you fast. You know, ‘just like riding a bike.’
”
She laughs and looks
at the ground. “What the heck are we doing? It’s winter. Do you really ride your
bike to school in this crap?”
“There’s no snow on
the ground.”
“Okay, but seriously,
we’re going to look like a couple idiots. I can’t do that, and if we’re going
to be friends, I seriously can’t allow you to, either.”
With that settled, we
end up walking to school together, talking the entire way, or rather, she
talks, and I listen. She makes me feel at ease, which is quite a feat in
itself.
We walk down a
sidewalk crowded with other students. Today I am dressed in a way to make
blending an option. I am wearing a pair of less tattered jeans and a sweater
Mom got off the sale rack last season at The Gap.
I blend in during
global, but as soon as I walk into chemistry, Lana yells out my name and pats
the seat next to her.
“Sit here,
Hadley.”
So I do. I sit there
and watch as some of the judgy faces from yesterday seem to become less harsh.
When class is over, we
walk out, and she shows me where the next class is. I already know—I was here
yesterday—but I don’t remind her of that. I just thank her because, well, she’s
been very nice.
Before lunch, she
finds me right as I am about to make my escape toward the bathroom.
“Come on, Hadley.
You’ll sit with us from now on.”
I feel good about
this. She seems completely genuine, and I am nervously excited about the idea
of having such fast friends here.
We sit with her
friends, Bee and Skylar.
“Wait, before you sit,
tell me, are you Everlark or Everthorne?” The girl who has dark hair and eyes—I
think she is Latina—and is short and stocky … Bee. Her name is Bee.
“You better give the
correct answer, or Bee here will flip,” Skylar, the tall, mixed race, very thin
and gorgeous girl says.
“If I have to sit on
the floor and eat, it’ll be okay. It is and always will be Everlark,” I
answer.
To our benefit, we all
say we are team Everlark and that Gale and Katniss don’t even make sense
together. Beatrice even has an interesting theory on the fictional
character-napping of our beloved Peeta. This is the way the
conversation continues to go the entire time. It’s all about The Hunger Games.
I am more at ease now than ever.
I think I’m going to
like it here.
I find out Bee and
Skylar have gone to Blue Valley together since kindergarten, while Lana moved
here only a couple years ago.
After school, they convince
me to go with them to winter intramurals. Apparently, the PE teacher is a field
hockey enthusiast and wants to have the best team in Central New York this
coming fall. A couple other schools in the area are doing the same thing, so we
will have actual games. This makes me happy. Now add to it that my new, very
fast friends want to play, as well, and okay, I know I’m gonna like it here.
When I send a text to
my mother and tell her I’m staying after, she replies with way too many colons
and capital Ds, which makes me laugh to myself.
“Nerd girl alert,” I
hear a tall, very long-legged, very pretty blonde laugh to her group of friends
as we walk into the locker room to change.
I immediately think of
Glimmer and how her outward beauty only masks her inward ugly.
“Kiss it, Claire,”
Lana says, giving her three fingers.
I look at her like
she’s crazy.
“Hunger Games,” Bee
explains. “Lana uses it to flip people off without getting in trouble.”
“Nice.” I laugh.
“Right? Then the
parental units don’t catch on,” Lana explains further.
“Gotcha,” I say as I
watch the girl Claire whispering to her friends.
“P.I.R.,” Skylar
says.
“What?” I ask.
“Parents in room,” Bee
chimes in. “Text terms. How do you not know that one? You have an
iPhone.”
“I just got it
yesterday for my birthday.”
“Birthday? No way! How
did we miss that?” Skylar asks.
Wow, just wow, I
think to myself.
“Um, hello, Sky, she
just moved here.” Lana laughs.
“Duh, of course.”
Skylar laughs it off.
“What’s her problem?”
I nod to the group of girls.
“Oh, her? Pax broke up
with her last year. She is one nasty, little thing. She hates me and tried
starting a rumor that I had a crush on him. Can you imagine?” Lana laughs as
she ties her cleats.
“Your brother?” I
gape.
“Stepbrother,” Bee
corrects.
“Same difference. God,
can you imagine crushing on a boy you’ve been raised with? Gross!” Lana gives a
disgusted look.
“No way in heck,” I
agree, as I pull my warm up pants on.
“Do you have I-G?” Bee
asks, playing with my phone. “Guess not yet.”
“Are you into
role-playing?” Bee asks, downloading the app.
“No, why?”
“You’re about to enter
into the coolest game in the world. It’s fierce.” She looks up,
then talks me through the set up before handing me my phone. “Easy-peasy,
lemon-squeezy.”
“I’m not into
games.”
“Okay, let me explain.
Role-play, or RP as, like, everyone on the face of the fandom world calls it,
is like writing a story with your friends. I’ve met a lot of cool people there.
There are academies, schools, camps, arenas, districts, factions—practically
every fandom has an RP. It’s pretty cool,” Bee explains.
“You’re into books,
though, right?” Lana asks.
“Of course.”
“You’ll love it. Trust
us,” Bee smiles at me.
“Enter your username,
but choose wisely.”
“What are yours?” I
ask.
“Mine is
beesbookbuzz.” Bee smiles.
“I’m
sky-dot-da-dot-limitless.” Sky smirks.
“I’m fanchicks123,”
Lana says.
“Okay how about
thefiercefangirl? Or is that really lame?”
“Perfect.” Bee nods.
“Love it.”
~*~
Apparently, I am
pretty good at field hockey because, even though I’m only a sophomore, I am
placed as a starting forward, opposite Claire. I don’t like that I am not
playing on the same team as my friends, but we travel and practice together, so
I see them just as much. Evidently, field hockey is a dying sport around here
because every other indoor team is over an hour away.
Claire and I may not
talk, like ever, but by the end of the short eight week season, which I only
play four weeks of, we have found a groove. Coach Douglas likes the way we work
together and mentions that we could be state champions in the fall if we work a
little harder together. He wants us to become friends.
“Fat chance,” she
mumbles under her breath as she brushes past me, walking out of his
office.
Peace, sister, I
think to myself as I walk out behind her.
I am thankful that I
only have the end of the season party that I will have to see her again at.
Then, I will be able to hang out more with Lana, Bee, and Skylar, and I will have
a chance to read again.
Thank God!
~*~
Within a week, I am
borderline obsessed with fan fiction and role-playing, thanks to my friends.
Now it’s a month later, and Lana, Bee, and I easily spend an hour, maybe more,
invested in this crazy, new world every day. Sky is a little less obsessed, but
she plays along for the same reason I spend some Saturday mornings at the park
with a sketch pad in one hand and a piece of chalk in the other. They love to
sketch in the park and have asked me to go, and that’s what friends do.
Through DM, or direct
messages, each person creates a character. Then, message after message, a story
unfolds.
thefiercefangirl: Okay
guys, The Hunger Games Role play, or THG RP. My
character is Quinn Greenwood. You know, my usual.
Beesbookbuz:- Mine is
Willow Oak, my usual. You know, the blondie.
fanchicks123: Mine’s
Kaden Red. The one with the black hair.
sky.da.limitless:
Obviously, Becca. You guys ready?
sky.da.limitless:
Becca walks around, searching for food and water, on guard, making sure no one
is following her.
Thefiercefangirl:
Quinn quietly walks around, looking for the girl she decided to become allies
with during training. Knowing the other girl was District Two, she tried her hardest
not to get caught.
fanchicks123: Kaden
leaves her camp with her allies as soon as she wakes up, knowing if they caught
her, she would be killed.
Beesbookbuzz: Willow
jumps from the tree she’s been sleeping in at the sound of rushing water. A
flash flood strikes the arena. The water starts coming from the ground and the
top of the ‘roof’ of the arena.
sky.da.limitless:
Becca jolts as her shoes start to fill with the water.
Thefiercefangirl:
Sorry, guys, GTG. I’m tired.
I smile as I sign out.
“Whatcha doing,
sweetheart?” my mom asks from the doorway.
“Role-playing on IG,”
I answer. When she doesn’t reply, I look toward my door. “Book stuff, Mom. It’s
all good.”
“You sure?”
“Yes, Mom, I
am.”
“All up and up, right?
Remember, everything you post stays up there in that cloud forever. No taking
it back. No—”
“I know. I saw JJ’s
big reveal on your Facebook from his first drunken college party,
remember?” My half-brother’s an idiot, I think to myself.
“A decision he has to
live with for the rest of his life,” she says like she feels bad about my Dad’s
first child’s choice to get drunk and bare it all.
Gross. That is just
something you can never un-see.
~*~
I don’t understand why
Lana is hiding her role-playing from her parents, so I ask her on our way to
school.
“They are completely
over-protective,” she explains.
“Oh.”
“Your parents seem
cool with everything,” she turns the topic on me.
“Yeah. Cool.”
“So your mom reads
palms? Is that, like, her job?”
Ever since field
hockey, Lana has been a little less chipper and a lot more in my face. I don’t
understand. If she decided she doesn’t like me, she should just stop hanging
out with me, right? God, this is so confusing. She knows so much about me now,
all my embarrassing, closeted things, like the fact that my mom reads palms for
extra money.
I asked her not to say
anything, and she promised she wouldn’t. I cannot believe she is
starting that crap up again. She promised.
“She is a hairstylist.
She rents a booth downtown. That’s her real job.”
“She offered to read
my mom’s palm,” she says.
“Great. I bet she was
impressed.”
“She laughed,
actually. No big deal.”
It is a big deal. My
family embarrasses the hell out of me.
Say what you will
about Mother Nature, but today, she is on my side. It down pours just as I am
reaching an even higher level of uncomfortable in front of my new friend, so we
start laughing and cover our heads with our bags.
“Should we run for
it?” I ask.
“Yes!”
A horn blows from
behind us, and I look over.
“Come on, Lana, you
and new girl get in.” It is Pax, Lana’s popular and very handsome stepbrother.
He is more beautiful than I could even put into words, and he seems like a very
nice guy, too. He always smiles and either waves or says hi to me in the hallways
at school.
“Thanks, Pax,” Lana
says as she slides in the front seat.
“Lana, are you gonna
let her in?” He laughs, as I squeeze in behind her to get in the back.
“I got it.” I laugh.
“See? All set.”
As I look up, his blue
eyes are smiling in the rearview mirror. Feeling my face heat, I turn away
before he is aware. Dear God, now is not the time to develop your first
crush, I tell myself.
“You like it here, new
girl?”
“All except the
torrential downpours when there is snow on the ground,” I answer as I look out
the window, avoiding the chance that I may make a fool of myself and get lost
in the rearview mirror again.
~*~
I am washing my hands
in the school bathroom when Claire walks in.
She nods. “Hey.”
“Hey.” I nod
back.
“Busy this weekend?”
I look around to see
if I may have been mistaken, and maybe she really isn’t talking to me. She
never talks to me, which is perfectly fine with me.
She laughs. “We’re the
only ones in here, Had.”
“I suppose so.” I
return the laugh.
“A few of the players
and I are joining an outdoor spring league. Coach says we need to play more. I,
for one, would love a shot at state this fall. Hell, nationals would be cool.
You wanna join? You can ride with us.”
“I’ll ask my
mom.”
“Cool, message me?”
“O … kay?”
“You have Instagram?”
she asks.
“Yeah.”
“Name?”
“thefiercefangirl.”
“Oh God, you are in
deep with the nerd herd.” She laughs.
“My friends and I
read. Why does that make us nerds?” I question her.
“Oh, I just bust on
Lana, all in fun.” Yeah right, I think. “I’ll be nice. The
past is the past, right?”
“Yep, so they say,” I
answer.
“Cool, chat
later?”
“Sure.”
~*~
“She said it was all
in good fun?” Lana huffs as we walk home from school. “Crazy ass.”
“She said she just
busts on you.”
“You aren’t gonna
seriously go with them?” Lana asks, as if she already knows I won’t.
I shrug and she
laughs, letting me know she thinks I’m joking. I don’t want to upset her,
because she’s a good friend—my best friend—but I am really good at something
for the very first time in my life. Not only am I good at it, but I love the
game. I know I want to join them. On the field, it’s me, my teammates, the
ball, and the goal. Nothing else. No one is better than anyone, and we all work
together. I love it.
I also know Bee and
Skylar won’t be upset about it. Lana, on the other hand, is making this about
her and Claire.
When I walk in my
house, I tell Mom about the indoor league and ask what she thinks. Of course
she asks how much it’s going to cost. I hate money. Hate it.
“Not sure,” I say as I
grab an orange out of the fridge, “I’ll find out.”
“We will make it work,
I promise.” She smiles at me, but I see worry.
“If not, Mom, it’s
seriously no big deal.”
Maybe it’s just not
meant to be. I know we don’t have any extra money, and I don’t want her to
stress out. Lana will be happier, too. Whatever happens, I know it will be
fine. It always is.
Jacqueline Ross is an author, and mother to Ally. She reads almost everything Ally does and enjoys the romance genre. She is 'one of those moms'. Meaning she is overprotective and pushes Ally to do her best at everything she does.










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